Aside

My son  left this morning. I am in so much pain. I could see his pain. He had the presence of mind to see that he needed to do something effective. We were not the solution. I still hurt. He sleeps and eats at the kindness of strangers. They are helping him to mold his future. Why not his father and I ?

Dear God, watch over my child and keep him safe. Help him to find a sense of  order and ability to navigate in this world. Give him a sense of peace and please let him sense that he is truly loved. Keep him in your loving hands and keep care over his tender heart.

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One comment

  1. Our daughter left at 18 five years ago to a city 2000 miles away in search of who-knows-what. We grieved for two years. She made some mistakes, none irreversible fortunately. We felt much the same. Stay here where you know someone is always looking out for you and will feed, clothe and shelter you without fail. Stay here so we know where you are at 4AM, safe and out of harms way. Stay here so we can minster to your needs with loving compassion. Please, just stay here. Not to be. After 5 years, she seems to be happy. We have reluctantly adjusted and accepted to her absence. She has been home 2 days in 5 years. Not for her birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s day, Father’s day or Thanksgiving. She came suddenly and left again even more so. I tell you this not to sadden or depress you about your son, but to let you know that as imperfect as the situation my be, you can come to terms with it. You really have no choice, especially if he is of age or a ward of the court. Just stay in touch even when he doesn’t. He will NEVER call often enough, write often enough of visit often enough. Just try to be thankful of what you get and keep the lines of communication open and a light in the window. It may be hurtful, but he may find a person you know well to cling to when he is confused and looking for direction. Don’t let this come between the two of you or you and your son. He is only reaching out to a place where he feels he won’t be judged or embarrassed by some mistake he has made. Above all, do not ask this person to violate a trust with your son. If they feel he is in danger, they will come to you. Make it clear to them that you do not hold them responsible for his actions or choices so they may freely advise him. You may see things differently than them, but that may be the very reason you son talks with them and not you. He is going to have to find his own way in his own way. And he will. It may be little consolation, but take pride in the fact that he does have a mind of his own and is willing to make his own decisions. The opposite would be even more tragic in the long run than what you are now experiencing. No one wants to pass worrying that their adult child cannot function in their own best interest.


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