Daddy saw and has me by the hand….

     The last three years have taken their toll on us as a family, on us as a couple and on me as a person. My mother who was in her 80’s fell and broke an ankle requiring surgery. She was unable to rehab adequately to return to her apartment and had to enter a home. She had repeatedly told me she wanted to die in her apartment.  That would not happen. I could not manage her at my home. It was not set up for someone handicapped. She spent many days in and out of the hospital. I would stay as I was able. I was homeschooling a grandchild and had to quit work. That cut us out of a great deal of income. At the same time this was going on, my sister who was schizophrenic moved in with me. She went in for elective hernia surgery. When they opened her up, they found non-Hodgkin lymphoma. She was just coming up on her 5year mark for being free from colon cancer recurrence. I was getting her to chem, checking on mom, etc. there were times when my mom was in one hospital and my sister at the other. I didn’t know how to balance everything out. I always felt like I could not get it right. My husband would get angry at the time I was away from home and some  days I envisioned him as the 5 year old stomping his feet and clamoring ” but what about me!”
     I cannot tell you the times I slept sitting up at the bedside with my head on a bedside table. He didn’t see that part…he was home…in our bed….asleep. This set us up for bad behavior on his part. That will be the next several posts. I have not been well and continue to struggle physically, mentally and spiritually. Prayers are appreciated!
     Until next time…..best wishes and kind thoughts…

     

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